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Wednesday 30 September 2015

#hearingaids

Today we went to collect Alice's hearing aids; all of us! Obviously Scott wanted to come, and I wanted him to come (he's better at remembering what questions to ask and generally remembers what the audiologist has said more than two seconds after leaving their room) but H ended up coming too, having been off school with a sickness bug and being denied re-entry for 48 hours post last bout of sickness.  There were no childcare options; nanny and Gdad were looking after their other grandkids! So off we all trekked to the hospital! 

We were both amazed at her reaction to having her aids switched on for the first time; her face was a picture of confusion and enlightenment. Both joyous and anxious simultainiously. 

I thought that if she heard the benefit of having them in, she would keep them in.  I forgot that normal human logic doesn't apply to a two year old. 

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions, I can only speak for myself, but I'm pretty sure she is emotionally exhausted too.  

I am so happy that we have finally got to the bottom of it, after two years of repeated tests, but also keep wondering if they've made a mistake. I hope that, once she's used to wearing them, they gain her access to the world of complete sound, but I am also too aware that they will never be a true replacement for the human ear working at it's best. 

I am full of motherly worries, my brain can't help leaping forward to her education (being a teacher doesn't help I guess) and worrying that she will be at a constant disadvantage to her peers. Reading that early speech and language issues are often linked to later literacy difficulties, as well as the possibility that she could inherit my dyslexia, are also weighing heavily on my mind. But we will cross those bridges if and when we come to them.

I'm sure we will learn so much over the next few months, from the audiologists, ENTs and paediatricians, as well as google...

Just in the small amount of time I've been looking, it has surprised me how little support seems to be available in my area, in terms of meeting other toddlers with hearing loss and parents going through similar things. 

I have found these organisations that seem to be useful if you are going through anything similar:

National Deaf Children's Society: has lots of information on their website, also has local groups around the country, but not in South Bucks: 
http://www.ndcs.org.uk

Young Deaf Activities : based in Buckighamshire, has a toddler / parent support group for hearing impaired and deaf children under 5 as well as youth clubs for older children: http://yda.org.uk/index.html

Hearing Aid Headbands: these look great! I've already realised keeping them on is going to be a challenge! I'm measureing Alice's head in the morning and buying one of these: 
http://www.hearingaidheadbands.co.uk

Please let me know if you know of any other groups/ facebook pages in South Buckinghamshire, I would love Alice to meet other toddlers with hearing aids!

Here's a pic taken today of the cheeky monkey! (Without aids on I'm afraid!) 

I know that with her determination, comedic timing and pure cheeky-ness, she will be fine in life. I just don't want there to be too many obstacles in her way! 

Tuesday 19 August 2014

Juggling

I'm sitting wrapped up in a blanket drinking my second cup of tea (builders tea by the way) of the morning, before 9am.  Baby girl has already gone back for her nap (it was an early wake up call this morning!) and bigger boy is watching 'his' tv and occasionally shouting 'bum' at it.

I'm about to go back to work, on 1st September, and the thought of leaving my kiddies in other peoples hands is creeping in to my mind, becoming more of a reality than a thought.  The thought of working out how we as a family are going to mange to be organised enough for me to get to work at all, let alone on time.  I'm predicting that baby girl will go to the childminders without lunch at least once and possibly won't be collected on time... More than once.

I know my boy will love going back to preschool, which he adores and learns so much.  But it's a big change for him as well; mummy has a new job.  I asked him if it was ok that mummy goes to work, and as if he was reading my mind, he said "I don't want you to go far away."  My jobs location isn't ideal, it's an hour away without rush hour traffic.  No idea what it'll take at 7:30am.  No I haven't done a test run at the crack of dawn. (Do people actually do that?!) 

I'm at the stage where I'm trying to remember why I wanted to go back to work in a school, rather than the tutoring I was doing.  There must have been some reasons; I'm struggling to think of any. 

It's any mothers dilemma, we have to have something for ourselves, but the thought of it suddenly translates to you 'abandoning' your children in your over critical mind.

I'm sure it's the same no matter how old they are when you return to work, but I do feel guilty that baby girl won't quite be one and I didn't work when my boy was that age.

It's only for two days a week - I'm sure some of you are now thinking "is that all, Crikey I thought you were going back full time the way you were talking!"

But it's a busy job isn't it, this being a mother! 

In September I've also got to start my role on the preschool PTA, my baby will turn one, I've got to continue with monkey music classes, start taking them swimming regularly, cook them healthy dinners, pack their packed lunches, leave them crying at the childminders/ preschool, take them to socialise with their friends, do the food shopping, clean the house ( sometimes), organise my social life (if any), get up in the middle of the night to care for them when they're teething/poorly, get harri's latest immunisations, send my brother a birthday card (that didn't happen last year), go to work for extra INSET, play pirates, shop keepers, trains, practise walking with Alice and probably a million other things I've forgotten. It's going to be a busy month...

But there are also things that I won't be doing because of my job; picking Harri up from preschool, walking home leisurely and stopping off in the park with his mates to play scooter racing, dropping off/ collecting Alice from said childminders house, being there for her at all times, over seeing what the childminder does, seeing her make every tiny little development that she does so many times each day.  My heart is aching just writing this.  

I know it's healthy to have time for yourself (if you can call a job 'time for yourself') and I'm in danger of becoming a total control freak, but I've become a mummy since the last time I went to work (three and a half years ago!) and that isn't just a job, it's now who I am. It's the priority, the reason for everything. 

Oh well, I can always quit the job if it doesn't work out... 

Don't get me wrong, I do love teaching and am (a tiny bit) excited about the new challenge.  I've bought a new posh pencil case and loads of new stationary! 

Wish me luck! 

I'll let you know how we get on when the havoc of the first month has died down.

Happy working! 

Tuesday 8 July 2014

Which tribe do you belong to?

Having been around the parenting scene now for nearly 3.5 years, I've observed different groups of parents and realised most slot into one or a couple of the following tribes. Which one do you think you are?? Just for fun. 

The hippy tribe

You know the ones, they are free enough to select a name for their baby that isn't in the top one hundred baby names list.  They're creative with their lives and their parenting and usually don't follow conventional rules or care what others think.  They do what feels right and let the child have a huge say in how they're brought up.  Not to say they're totally out of control, although some may be...

The baby wearer tribe 

They never put them down! These could be part of the Hippy tribe too, or vise versa, but not necessarily.  They don't agree with baby Bjorne carries though, these are controversial and effect the development and growth of baby. (My two are fine though, thanks for asking.)  The baby sleeps either in a cot which is attached to the bed or if that's too far away, just in bed with mummy and daddy. All the time. These people deserve a medal in my book for not wanting some child free time and space! 

The self help tribe 

The self help books are bought pre the birth of their child; as soon as they exit the 12 week scan or sometimes before. I'm not talking one or two to help you along. I'm talking every book they can get their hands on. Stalking baby center chat boards is also a bad habit of this tribe. Constantly comparing their parenting to everyone else's. Now I'm not saying we haven't all done this once or twice, but every night is an unhealthy habit that will drive you insane! It doesn't just stop at baby books though, weaning books, talking books, pre-school books you name them and they've got them, a whole bookshelf full. I'm pretty sure they won't find the answer to parenting in a book. Although I must admit I tried at the beginning! 

The fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants tribe 

Now I must admit, this is my tribe most of the time!  I'm not great at being organised and my memory is worse than that of our gold fish; aka Tiny Little Fish.  This means that I rarely know the dates of pre-school/ crèche terms, trips or parent evenings.  I find these things out, usually, by over hearing other mums talking on the day or day before if I'm lucky!
I'm amazed I haven't taken H to nursery when it's closed yet,... But there's still time! I usually don't know what day of the week it is, let alonethe date. 

The super mums tribe 

Luckily I have a couple of friends like this.  Those ones that know everything. Somehow they know about last minute changes to monkey music venues, they've been to or know about every child group in town and know which ones to avoid, they know the term dates of your child's pre-school; and their child doesn't even go there! They arrange their week to military precision.  They slot you in on a Wednesday at 11am for an hours play date.  They always have time for you though and their other three hundred friends. They're house is always spotless.  
How is this possible? No idea. 

Of course you could fit into a couple of tribes quite happliy, or maybe you've got your own tribe? If so, please let me know what it is by commenting! 

Happy Parenting! 

Here's some parenting pics: 






Wednesday 4 June 2014

My son the graffiti artist...

I've always tried to encourage H to be creative, I was always making things as a child and grew up to do a Decorative Arts degree so know the importance of having a creative outlet! 

We make cards for birthdays, do drawings, paintings, cutting, sticking etc etc. but I think H has taken his creative streek further... 

Here are a few examples of his art work from around the house: 

On the kitchen wallpaper, half scrubbed off! 

Very definite mark making in an attractive green on the living room wallpaper. 

Harri's tag in the bathroom. 

On his bed...

A particularly expressive one on his bedroom wall! 
And even on his sheets! 

But his greatest piece by far to date is this pink on green canvas...

...the canvas being the back of our lovely chair! 

Now if you've done an Art Foundation like me, you'll know the importance of confident mark making and experimentation with different surfaces.  I think H has this mastered. 

I think Banksy has a rival! 

Happy tagging! 

Tuesday 3 June 2014

Nature or nurture?

The second time around we have done things very differently as parents.  The first time we were more obsessed with routine very early on and what was the 'right' thing to do. 

For example, with my son he had a set bedtime from about two weeks old.  He had bath at 6pm, bottle and bed at 7pm.  It didn't matter if he wasn't ready, he would go to bed.

I over heard a new mother talking before one of my baby classes the other week saying that she'd picked up and put down her son about 50 times in the middle of the night before he'd gone to sleep in his own cot. Yes you read that right, 50 times! My reaction as a second time mum was, are you crazy!? Just put them in your bed and get some sleep! But I know the first time mother I once was would have been much more stubborn in trying to get H to sleep in his own bed! 

Our little girl hasn't been the best sleeper at night, we still give in and give her a bottle if she is awake for a while at night. We know it will send her to sleep instantly, but I wouldn't have with H. No way. Once he was off food at night, he never had it again. Full stop. I was harder on little H than I am on little A. I know I'm not alone as a second time parent, I think you do anything for a easy life when there are more than one of them, partly because you're doubly as tired!!

These things got me thinking about their little personalities. H is more needy in a lot of ways, and although A is only tony still, her personality is much more laid back and generally happier. At this age, 8 months, I couldn't leave my little boy with anyone other than my husband, nanny and grandad ( because we lived with them) for a second. He would literally scream like he was dying! 

I remember I left him sat in the high chair in a pub with one of my friends to go to the toilet.  I could hear him from the other side of the pub and when I got back my poor unsuspecting friend was panick stricken! This little cute baby boy had turned into a bright pink monster in record breaking time, as soon as I'd gone out of sight. 

My little girlie, however, will happily go to anyone, anytime, and not even notice I'm gone! Which is hell of a lot easier! 

I do wonder if this is a gender issue too, but I'm pretty sure there is a massive trend in second babies being more chilled out; no matter if they're pink or blue. 

Now why is this? 

As my baby boy has grown, I've grown as a parent. It's a constant learning curve, for which there is no right answer. Ever. But I've realised, pretty obviously really, that they react to the way you treat them and copy your behaviour.  Now, I'm not child phycology expert or anything, but I wonder how early on this starts. 

When my baby boy was born, I held him for less than a minute before they realised he wasn't breathing properly, so took him away.  He had oxygen for the first three days of his life, and our first proper cuddle was when he was already a couple of days old.  I do wonder whether his separation anxiety was higtened by this experience.  My baby girl stayed on my chest basically for the first twenty four hours of her life. 

I guess you could say we've been kinder to out little girl, she stayed downstairs with us until she fell asleep for about the first four months, she therefore fell asleep in her own time with her mummy or daddy, feeling loved. If she's upset we bring her in our bed for a cuddle where she will obviously feel more secure and so sleep. (Well she used to, now she just pulls my hair!) If she's awake and restless in the night, we give her milk, which she loves and makes her feel warm and satisfied. I can't say we did that with H.  We let him cry himself to sleep, because he had to go to sleep at that time.  If he woke in the night, we put the dummy in, if he was restless we tried everything ( other than give in to the bottle) to get him to sleep.

Don't get me wrong here, we love our little boy very much. He gets lots of cuddles and kisses and stories and to be honest we have got softer as parents as he's got older! 

But is his slightly clingy, insecure personality down to the way he was treated when he was tiny or would he have turned out that way anyway? Is little A just a happy little girlie or have we had a huge impact on her personality in the short time she has been part of our family? 

I've got no idea! 

What I do know is that you will always beat yourself up as a parent, no matter what you do! So maybe these days I'll opt for the softer approach! (Apart from at 5am when I'll put the pillow over my head and pretend I don't have children!) 

Happy parenting! 

Monday 19 May 2014

Why can't mothers relax!?

Am I being totally sexist here? Do dads really worry as much about their children as mums? Ever? Even if they are a stay at home dad? (If you are I'd like to hear from you!)

I'm not feeling great today so thankfully the husband had decided to 'work from home' to 'help me out'. 

He took H to his crèche this morning, went to do a few work related things, and picked him up. Then hid in the study. This didn't really 'help me out'; so I shouted at him and then he took the kids out for a while. Great. Peace and quiet. 

So I am lying on the sofa 'resting' as we speak, (I tidied up the lunch carnage first) the trouble is I can't relax.  I tried snoozing with the tv on. No luck. Tried sleeping with a cat zonked out on my lap. No joy. I tried not to look at my phone. No way. I put the phone down, turned the tv off. Ahhh..BANG BANG came the hammering from next door...then the drilling. I attempted not to peek at the clock... She'll need her bottle soon. She'll need her bottle now. She'll be crying. Is there a toilet at the car wash? (Don't ask- H loves it!) H didn't go before he left. They'll both come back crying any minute. I'm sure he didn't take her bottle or changing bag with him. 

You see my point? Is daddy worrying? Probably only if they're screaming. Would daddy be worrying if mummy had taken the kids out? No bloody way! 

So tired.

I might try to get two minutes shut eye before the hungry, wet, crying kids come home! 

Happy parenting! 

Saturday 17 May 2014

Sewing Buzz- online sewing club!

I am currently trying to promote my sewing club- which is starting on 6th June in Hazelmere Community Centre (incase you were wondering!) - and I was thinking that it would be so great if people on Twitter etc from different parts of the country and world could get to it...and then it came to me: start an online sewing club! So obvious! 

This way, people that are busily sewing at home can upload pics of what they're working on, fabric they've just indulged in, tips they've just discovered or questions they need answering and they'll be a huge community ready to help/ cheer / answer/ give advise/ drool over at any time of the day or night! Can you imagine it? Amazing!

Well, it's so simple, just tweet whatever you like, that's slightly related to sewing, and use the #sewingbuzz. 

I obviously can't be online 24/7...although I'm never far from my phone! But I'll check in often and let you know when I'll be online for a while. (Usually after 7pm when the kiddies are asleeping!) but someone will be there, that's the beauty of the twitter community! 

So please use #sewingbuzz, retweet my post so lots of lovely sewers get involved, the more the merrier! 

Happy Sewing!